A few weeks ago I came across Glennon Doyle’s quote: “The most revolutionary thing a woman can do is not explain herself” And it hit home. I used to ask permission and try to explain myself ALL the time. If it was something I didn’t know how to do or whether I could actually accomplish it, I would ask someone’s opinion whether to do it. Often I ask my husband because I value his input. And he often has great advice and is my sound board. But valuing input is different than asking for permission or always explaining yourself. And I got stuck, falling into this trap at times.
And not following through with your idea because someone doesn’t agree are 2 different things. As women I think some of us feel so many pressures to behave a certain way. As an athlete, win the race, but do it with grace. Be confident, but be humble. Share your opinion, but not too loudly. Just because I believe in elevating women, doesn’t mean I don’t want to kick their butts when I get on the starting line. Just because I’m competitive with them, doesn’t mean I don’t respect them and want them to succeed. Just because I like deep intimate conversations with my girls doesn’t mean I can’t hang with the guys. Just because I’m not into other sports like golf, baseball, basketball doesn’t mean I don’t want you to invite me to the game because I know in business that’s where deals are made. Just because I put on makeup before a competition doesn’t mean I won’t get gritty and sweaty and dirty. Just because I told everyone I crapped my pants in Chicago marathon doesn’t mean I’m not tough as nails. Just because I admit to having mom guilt and judging my post partum body at times doesn’t mean I’m not extremely confident in myself. I’m vulnerable and I’m brave. Say it louder for the people in the back.
I am very aware of my shortcomings and I never shy away from asking for help. But asking for help doesn’t mean I’m incapable of running my own business. When it comes to business I learned very quickly that you grow quicker and accomplish more when you aren’t afraid to ask for help. Because other people have a different set of skills, and they can solve problems you can’t. The truth is I love being an owner, a boss, creating content, products, creating jobs and opportunities. I love people depending on me. I like the pressure, the responsibility.
I have been a professional athlete for over 10 years. And in those 10 years I have co-founded an energy bar company, Picky Bars, started a coaching business, held 5 annual adult running camps, created my website (thanks Jen), started a blog, launched my GRIT apparel line, started a youtube channel, oh and raised 2 baby boys. Also sprinkle in those 100 mile weeks I’m running, but who’s counting:) I am not special or extraordinary. I do not share this to tell you “oh look what I’ve done and accomplished.” I guess as a woman I share this so other woman can say “damn I can do that. I’m busy but I have motivation. I have a drive, a fire, a belief, a purpose. I’m a mom, but I also have other passions. I like to hustle.”
And sure I had a head start. I had help and resources. At 22 years old, with a college degree and a few hundred dollars to my name I thought what’s next for me? I didn’t have a professional running contract, but I wanted to make the Olympics one day. So I worked as a nanny and a house cleaner. And I rented apartments for less than $700 for 5 years straight. I kept my eyes up, my ears open. I listened for opportunities, and created them. I believed in myself as a women. I tried and I failed. I had ideas, and took chances. Sometimes they flopped, other times they took off. I always asked myself what’s next. What can I create that will gain momentum? What can I bring that is meaningful? For me it’s always been about passion, purpose, and drive. If you can cultivate a few of those things in your daily life, you will hold yourself accountable. You will keep hustling. You won’t be afraid of failing because you know that’s part of the game.
But maybe you feel like I have at times, as a woman, that focusing on our business and making money is greedy, but can’t you want to make an impact and also a successful business model? Can’t you value your skills and make them work for you? Not ask permission. I think hell yes. So what if your friends aren’t doing what you are doing. For me other professional runners might live a simpler life solely focused on training and racing. And that’s ok. We don’t all have to fit in a box. It’s your path that matters. Not the worry that someone is making fun of you, not approving or that someone doesn’t see your vision. Just because they’re not doing it, doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
So be and do you, without offering explanation.
Dream Big
Steph Bruce