One day, an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide. As he walked he came upon a young boy who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.
Puzzled, the man looked at the boy and asked what he was doing. Without looking up from his task, the boy simply replied, “I’m saving these starfish, Sir”.
The old man chuckled aloud, “Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?”
The boy picked up a starfish, gently tossed it into the water and turning to the man, said, “I made a difference to that one!”
This is the Starfish Parable for those of you who haven’t read it. This is how I feel right now. While it appears the whole world is in crisis it can be overwhelming to think “how can I help, what can I do?” My mom lives 2 hours from me and I want to bring her food and company and laughs. But she is in the midst of Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Her health is vulnerable so my brothers and I decided to keep our distance.
I am so grateful for the situation that I live in. I am healthy. I am not on the front lines in healthcare. Those people are warriors right now and are helping to save us. I am not in a city with cases exploding everywhere, yet. My job is temporarily affected but we are secure. So I ask myself how can I be the young boy on the beach? It’s small and seems insignificant but I’m sending out 12 bags of Picky Granola to people who reached out. I donated to the Navajo and Hopi Covid-19 Relief Fund. I’m going to buy some gift cards to local businesses in Flagstaff. I’m checking in on the Peaks, our Flagstaff elderly assisted living community that my boys visit every Friday. I’m going to check in with food banks, to see who needs what and when and where. I’m not being a hero, I’m just trying to do things I can, one day at a time.
I have always been a very positive and optimistic person. As an athlete and runner I believe we have been equipped with so many experiences and opportunities to help us navigate through the unknown. Running gives many of us purpose and hope. It’s an outlet, a stress reliever, a passion. So to those out there trying to train and remain committed to your goals, carry on however you can safely. Adjust your timelines and expectations but don’t be guilted into stopping. I believe you can have empathy for others but still feel disappointed in your circumstances. You can care about the world, but still wish life would return to normal. Remember you know who you are to the core and please don’t let others make you feel bad. It’s ok to feel productive as hell one minute and overwhelmed the next. It’s ok to think your kids are driving you crazy at home but also know how lucky you are to have a family. You can feel empty for those who have it far worse than you but also wish you could run your goal race that you trained so hard for or try to qualify for the Olympics because that’s been a lifelong dream. That’s human nature. Now is not the time to make people feel bad for just feeling. We all have flaws. I make mistakes and I admit them and try to learn from them and do better. I have regretted some things I’ve said or done often in moments of passion, in the past but have always known my intentions for people deep down. I also know not everyone will agree with our thoughts and opinions but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t express them. I’m sure many athletes focusing on their races and seasons appear self absorbed. I know I have had moments where I’m reading about the tragedy of the virus, and then wondering will we race again this year? And yeah it feels selfish but I can’t help that it’s a part of me. So I guess what I’m trying to say is can you be conflicted in your head and heart? Can you have space for the greater good and for your own passions? I think so.
This blog was supposed to be about the Olympic Trials Marathon, and how I feel proud and disappointed. And how excited I was to chase another goal with Kellyn at the US track trials this summer. But I know that’s insignificant right now. But I also know my heart will still be dreaming up goals, and I’ll be in my garage doing core and pelvic floor rehab, on my treadmill, and out on the roads when I can. Because even if races are canceled and postponed there surely will be more opportunities one day. I will train and dream because it makes my life better. I recently read a story about my girl Kenyetta from HOKA NJNY track club and this quote resonated with me. “I remember once in a hospital room my mother used a walker to walk back and forth to gain mobility in her legs again. She looked at me and said “I am not a loser. I am a winner. Winners never quit and quitters never win! This is our motto. While she was running her race for her life, I continued running mine.”
So as I close out my thoughts with you today, remember through all of this, help if you can. Hold on if you can’t. Be accountable for yourself. Get creative with more time. Have more conversations with your loved ones than before. Make smart decisions, wash your hands. Pray if you pray. Use your talents for the better. Stay positive and passionate about something. Spread love. Laugh. Just because we don’t have a destination or a date doesn’t mean we can’t be on the path with purpose and drive.
Stay safe and healthy
Steph Bruce